LGBTQ Friendly Weddings in Oklahoma

Perfect LGBTQ Weddings with Thoughtful Planning

It all begins with an LGBTQ friendly wedding venue, because in truth, they will help you find all the vendors and resources you need to make your wedding day perfectly you. In fact, LGBTQ weddings have become mainstream in many parts of the United States and certainly amongst Millenials and Gen Z. Wedding Wire and The Knot, the major wedding directories in the US feature services specifically for the LGBTQ community, so begin by relaxing. Most of the world has caught up to believing that love is love, and even that the major religions were based on the embrace of human love and loving…wedding your beloved needs to find a home, and there are venues across the United States that happily embrace difference of all kinds, and one of the greatest ways to embrace differences is to put an emphasis on tradition, while modernizing it. You want a marriage, not just a wedding, so many of the symbols that were traditionally “owned” by straight weddings can have an update that makes sense in every context.

LGBTQ proposal with champagne in OK

Break Out of the Traditional Ring Box

Proposal traditions…shake it up, baby. Not being heteronormative means you get to have the tradition, some kind of proposal, but you set the scene and make all the rules. It doesn’t even have to be a ring. It could be engagement watches, or earrings, or cars, if you like, but it’s nice if it is double the fun, not just for one, because this is celebration of a team, coming together, each a gift to the other.

Woman putting ring on bride's hand


Define Your Own Unique Relationship

Neither bride nor groom, neither loved nor beloved, but both loved and beloved, belonging to one another, neither being above nor below and nothing between, simply one…we have gathered here today to bring these persons into loving unity with the blessing of the community gathered and all those they love and cherish…nobody has to be bride or groom if they don’t want to be, not even in a heteronormative ceremony. You choose who you love. Now, you get to choose who you will be on the special day that memorializes and sanctifies or publicly declares your loving commitment to each other. No one gets to tell you what your wedding means, either. You get to define your relationship, the meaning of your marriage, and the role you are taking. We are all grown ups, here. This is serious, but it needn’t be solemn.

Two men cutting cake at wedding

Dress Up Your Day Your Way

So, what shall we wear? You can glam this up in sequins, or matching wedding suits with playful suspenders, a midcentury cocktail buzz with a 1950s formal air, the gal in the narrow tie with the oh so lean jacket and her Jackie O looking partner and all the makings of a Mad Men set or you can go traditional with dual brides, picking your dresses on the same day and making an event of that. Fashion is not solemn, and gives every person getting married a chance for originality to come forward in ways that are more exaggerated than much of the rest of the wedding. Throw out tradition, here. Enjoy your style or comfort or sexiness. This one is definitely up to to you! It’s all about your comfort zone, your style and feelings about what is right for you both. Have some fun with this.

Two women getting married in Oklahoma

Let Your Love Do the Talking

What about officiants? You may not be able to get an officiant in your locality, so you can skip that and contact an LGBTQ friendly celebrant. Ministers and deacons of churches that might not hold same sex marriage ceremonies sometimes are available to celebrate a wedding in a venue that is LGBTQ friendly, so if you have a Church and want to start there, you probably already know whether or not you are on friendly territory. Talk of officiants leads to discussions of vows. Vows are an area where you can be very expressive and talk about the nature of your relationship and the future you plan together and with the people you love, practice ahead of time with your chosen officiant or celebrant any part of the vows in which they will participate.

LQBTQ friendly wedding

Stick with Your Trusted Vendors and Wedding Professionals

Rehearsal dinners can vary widely, but a tip about LGBTQ weddings is to use a single venue that offers you service from rehearsal to wedding to cocktails to reception, because you are in a safe space dealing with safe vendors every step of the way. Homophobia is a real concern in many areas, so having a safe space for each part of you wedding and working with vendors and wedding professionals who are discreet and sensitive to your needs is going to make the days of your wedding, for it is days, at least two, of celebration and preparation before it is all over, much more comfortable, pleasurable and anxiety free for all concerned, and what is a celebration, if it is not a place to be oneself with one’s own people and the family of one’s own choosing? This is your day. Some simple steps can make for an LGBTQ friendly experience.

White willow wedding arch with flowers overlooking Bartlesville

Let The Refinery Be Your Home for Love

Our Oklahoma wedding venue is proud to be LQBTQ friendly, and we look forward to helping you continue your love story with the help of trusted vendors. Send us an inquiry to get more information or to start planning your perfect wedding event.

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